10 things people who haven’t worked in retail will never understand

Life lessons learnt from the other side of the counter

Retail employs 4.4 million people in the UK, leaving the other 60 million inhabitants blissfully unaware of the weird side effects of spending most days dealing with the public. Here are just some of them:


  1. Hearing a bad song that’s been playing on loop in your store outside of work (even years later) gives you haunting Déjà vu, like hearing your alarm tone.


  1. When friends ask “What are you up to this weekend?” expecting to hear about your leisure plans


  1. The natural aversion to looking at clocks that comes from long shift survival strategy

  1. Trying to use a card machine makes a sizeable chunk of the population look like chimps trying to shove blocks through the wrong shape holes in a kids toy

  1. Telling customers something is out of stock is like spinning an emotional roulette wheel, you never quite know how they’re going to react.

  1. The smell of the fridge in the staff room

  1. Oscars shouldn’t be given to actors, they should be given to customers trying to convince you the phone “just broke itself”

  1. Temporarily feeling like Al Capone when you cash up on a Saturday

  1. The ability to bitch about a customer to a colleague using nothing more than more than a look.

  1. The feeling on a Tuesday afternoon when the nobody has walked through the door in over an hour.

Written by Jack Courtez

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